As you read the below you might swear up and down a mom
wrote this, however, it was actually my husband. He’s been a personal
trainer for almost exclusively for women, since 1998, and these are the 5 most common obstacles spouses and kids, unwittingly, throw into the path of the mom(s) in their life.
I gotta say, I’m grateful
he knew these so feel free to share with your family – they might think
they know what you want or how to support you but it helps to let them
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!
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Since most women have the petal to the metal in the quest to be in shape, stay healthy, and lose weight, often the most supportive thing their family can do is to stop stepping on the brakes for her.
5 Ways Mom is Getting Sabotaged:
1. Don’t sabotage her with 5,000 extra calories.
You don’t intend to sabotage her weight-loss, but, regardless,
you probably are. Intentions don’t excuse the fact that your nutrition choices make it impossible for her to lose weight. When
you live together you eat together. When you want to go out to eat, insist on the bread basket, insist on extra night(s) of drinking, insist on keeping cookies and chips in the house, order pizza, etc. guess what? You are forcing that food on her too because we are social creatures. Sharing (especially food) is literally caring. Expecting her to not share food with her best friend goes against most of what it means to be human.
2. Don’t make her an island. In America we believe a little too much in individualism – i.e. your wife’s weight problem is her problem that she needs to fix. Sure, there are things she needs to take responsibility for, but nobody can do it in a vacuum. We’re social creatures not robots. Simply support her.
3. Don’t tell her “it’s all in your head.” Yes, you love her and think she’s beautiful. Yes, it is very important for her to know that. However, if she wants to improve they way she looks and feels it is not your place to dismiss. (You don’t get to set or dismiss her life goals anymore than she does for you.) What she needs from you is to feel understood, and then support. When you get married you are a life team and on a healthy, successful team you support each other with what’s most important.
4. Don’t pretend to be her personal trainer. If a man has exercised even one time in his life, or skimmed a fitness magazine he usually thinks he is a
qualified expert. Your wife doesn’t buy it. Even if you are an expert,
doesn’t appreciate her husband (or wife) trying to be her fitness
coach. Once you’ve seen somebody naked the dynamics of a relationship
change, and this just doesn’t work. Do help her find someone else qualified to fill that role. (No, for the record, I never try to train my wife… anymore.)
5. Don’t drop the ball. The reason that any of us is alive today is that our mom put us first by sacrificing her time, her sleep, her money, her energy, and anything else. Usually mom’s will sacrifice their own health and fitness along the way… run down… when you drop the ball in helping her (around the
house, kids, etc.) because you decided to stay up until 1 am watching Daredevil on Netflix she’s probably not going to say anything, but will probably just neglect herself to pick up after you.